If not for the lack of blandness, oat meal would be OK. I think that’s probably why people use toppings; berries, yoghurt, sugar, and cinnamon. Seems like self delusion to me but what do I care. Healthy…unhealthy, doesn’t make much of a difference once we get to splitting hairs.

Besides, no way in hell am I gonna tell people how to eat their oat meal, or their condiments, even if they pick relish over ketchup and delusion over reality.

jeez, these things are jammed up tight

About splitting hair; I’ve always felt a bit sad for split ends. They really get a bad rep. A road splits and we see it as an option, one way or the other, left or right. Totally get it, on the one hand, its about moving forward, one foot in front of the other…then again, the hair is all the same, one becomes two, but then two is somehow less than one. It’s bananas, for sure, but it’s still a bit sad. You’re not one, you’re not two, and you’re not really one and one and one or two halves either.

just press and twist, that’s what it says on the label, or the picture…why are the directions a picture? makes no sense what so ev –oh come on, for f…

And I guess the whole road thing, you know the one about choices and moving forward, is a good metaphor if there’s only two choices. But when does that ever happen, black and white, left or right –too easy, nuh huh– more like Kansas, Oz, or Narnia. Pick a card, any card, just don’t show it to me. That’s what choices are like; you make most of them completely unaware of what’s actually going on. But that’s about the big picture and…well, that’s a whole other metaphor all together. It’s not really a matter of whether or. And I guess people really like whether or, yes or no, two choices.

isn’t there supposed to be a trick for this, like run it under hot water and it’ll open. no that’s glass jars, this’ll probably melt, hah, couldn’t make it any worse. ok, one more time, press and twist.

Maybe we start with two choices, I mean, that would explain why we like it that way. It’s just that…well it might just be me, but I can’t help but feeling that once you end up with less choices you somehow end up with more to consider. I mean sure, you go from one or the other to only one, but somehow that one multiplies like…like that ameba…thing. I don’t know much about biology, or the big picture off it, anyway. It’s just that the more you get cornered in, the tighter the leash is, the more you want to run around a round room. That can’t be divided into twos. No corners, no angles, just three sixty –basically one –which means its technically less, but still more than one corner, or even two corners.

stupid, stupid, stupid, agh. why won’t you just…OPEN. oh sweet jesus there we go. why do we have to do this every single time.

Anyway –sorry, hold on, let me just knock this back– what I’m trying to say is…well lately I’ve been feeling like maybe I’m not a road, you know. And I’m tired of eating oat meal with maple syrup when I could have pancakes just the same. Cause’ I’m pretty sure I’m in the split hair category; and maybe that explains why I feel bad for them. I mean you’re there, and you’re it, and you’re going until you just stop. Like, bam. And then, well…then it’s like you’re there, but you’re also here, and suddenly…you get plucked. And, listen, I know this may sound a bit far fetched, but we’re all about the two, all the time. We’re all about the options, the freedom, the choices and possibilities, the rush of the open road.

I’m just so tired of the multiple choice, it’s not any easier than yes or no,
and I miss the one.

When it wasn’t past tense and present tense.

When it wasn’t left or right or split ends.

they’re always easier to close. pop it on and clip. and you’re looking at me like I’m delusional. trying to look all attentive, nodding appropriately, sympathetically even. but you’ve never been plucked, split and splintered into past and present. so, you sit, you nod, and you eat your oat meal…you gotta be kidding me, syrup and sugar… there’s no way even you think that’s healthy.

I guess, my point is, that I’d like to eat my oatmeal without thinking about this stuff.