Magnificent Professors And Where To Find Them
For the first issue of the fall we decided to visit the wizarding world named you-know-what and show you the loveable features of some of our dear teaching staff. In the true name of comedy, we hope to offend no one and to amuse everyone. Have fun trying to match these Harry Potter characters with the actual professors behind the aliases!
Sirius Black: A mystery man. Never seen at the campus, but will appear if there’s free coffee.
I’ve done my waiting! Twelve years in Azkaban! Now give me the coffee!!
Molly Weasley: The cool aunt. You’ll like her lessons, but, under any circumstances, do NOT be late. There are consequences.
"You’re late. You’ve got two minutes to come up with a joke that pleases me, or you’re out! (Not really tho. I love you all. You’re all my little cinnamon rolls."
Lockhart: Googles seafood restaurants when there’s only 5 minutes of class left and shows pictures of himself.
"Worry not, children. I have extensive PowerPoint slides that will take your breath away. Besides, we’ve got aaalll the time in the world."
Hermione: Makes very detailed slides (hot dudes included… for purposes of historical accuracy, of course.)
"It’s all about the historical accuracy!"
Hagrid: You will learn that English is weird. Everything is weird.
"It’s all in the wrists! Oh wait, am I conducting an orchestra or giving a grammar lecture..."
Fleur Delacour: If rainbows and Care Bears were people then they’d be her. Fight us on this one.
"Is the sweetest and does not appreciate bra feeling."
Cedric: Nice guys always finish last. Don’t expect your essays back any time soon, Bless him.
"Hufflepuffing away."
Madam Rolanda Hooch: Our best tip for this one is to learn a sonnet by heart and perform it to her the first day.
"To be or not to be?"
Dobby: Knows everything, but you don’t know her.
She will fix your problems, if you can find her.
Professor McGonagall: The (only) one who will see through your bullshit.
"Really? You’re going with that?"
Professor Lupin: Has bird-like qualities but dresses like Lonely Boy from Gossip Girl.
"Hey, it doesn’t matter that you said New York is in the west, at least you spelled it correctly!"
Written by Danielle Amorim and Elina Virva.
Artwork by Danielle Amorim
