Sweet Summer

You know, some days ago, I was asked about you. I was asked to describe you. I don’t know why they wanted to know, nor did I have any idea why I’d tell them. But I knew exactly what to say, down to the most minute detail, I knew every single word. It was so clear to me.

Some people say that you’ll never be able to describe those you love, because there aren’t enough words in any language, or languages in the world. I disagree, as you well know by now. What I feel need not be expressed to others. I know how I feel, and so do you. That is what matters. Even still, I knew what to tell them. I knew how to tell them.

So, I told them.

I told them how you’re like a sweet summer day.

First, I told them about your smile. I told them how it’s as warm as the bright, yellow sun. It’s cliché, and I know you hate cliché, but it’s the truth. Your smile has always made me feel safe. I could just bask in the comfort and radiance of your smile for days on end if it were possible. But I also told them how it isn’t just your smile. You’re warm and bright in every way. Like the yellow sun shining bright on a sweet summer day, you feel inviting. Open. Enthusiastic.

Was that it, they asked. Was that all I could say? I laughed. They had interpreted the following silence as the end of my story.

It was no such thing.

Next, I told them about your eyes. Your deep green eyes, as deep and thoughtful as an ancient forest. Everyone can see their glimmer as you laugh along with the summer breeze. Yet, the true beauty of your eyes could only be seen by those who really looked. Like a forest, your eyes hid incredible beauty beneath the surface. And like a forest, your eyes were brightened by the shine of the sun. Yellow and green make such a lovely pair, do they not? Your eyes truly shone as you smiled. And my, oh my, do I love looking into your eyes. You have always been wise. Wiser than I will ever be, that’s for sure. And I see that when I look into your eyes. Like the green forest swaying in the breeze of a sweet summer day, you may seem bright and energetic, but there is serene wisdom beneath the surface. You feel soothing. Knowledgeable.

This time, they knew that I had more to say. So for a moment we were all silent.

They seemed to think about what I had said, as if they were trying to picture you.

But I knew they couldn’t.

So I told them about your laugh. I told them how your laugh is as sweet as sugar and as light as air itself. It feels like a soft kiss from the wind. I told them how your laugh gives me a gentle burst of energy every time I hear it. Moves me forward, ever so slightly. Like a sweet summer breeze, you are encouraging.

And much like your laugh, you have always encouraged me. You have a way with words. You always talk to me about what the clouds looked like, and paint such a beautiful picture with your descriptions. The blue summer sky quickly became my favourite thing, and it still is. All thanks to you. To me, you paint the sky a more joyful blue, you alone shape the clouds and move them about as you speak. And I’m yearning for more. I could stare at the sweet azure of the summer sky and the clouds drifting past us for all of eternity, much like I could listen to your voice for hours.

But that still wasn’t enough. They still couldn’t picture you. They tried, tried and tried.

To no avail.

So I moved on to tell them about your heart. Your heart, which elevates the brightness of your smile, the deep wisdom of your eyes, the comfort of your laugh, your words. The heart as vast as the universe, as welcoming as a soft embrace and as loving as a sweet summer day. Cliché, again, I know. But it is the truth. One cannot describe you without mentioning your heart. It is what makes you whole. You shine like the sun and dance in the breeze, but with your heart, you have become the sweetest summer day. The kind that stays forever, even as a fleeting memory, or a comforting feeling at the very depths of one’s mind.

They seemed satisfied, and our conversation ceased.

But, as you know, there are also things I didn’t tell them. I didn’t tell them how you changed. I didn’t even mention how your bright smile dimmed. How it left me shivering in its absence, yearning for its comfort. How your deep eyes became shallow. I could no longer see their shine, nor the serenity within. I didn’t tell them how your laugh started to turn heavy, almost as if you had dragged it out from its hiding place, a safe haven. And your words lost their wonder. You found no enjoyment in the clouds and their soft drifting across the sky, so try as I might have, I couldn’t get you to talk about them as enthusiastically. You tried, you still do, but it wasn’t the same. It will never be. All that I left out of our story. They have no idea how your heart changed, nor do they know that it was my fault. We couldn’t go on.

We tried, we truly did. We didn’t want to say it out loud, but it was obvious. Your sweet summer could no longer stand the gloom of my winter. So, we burned. We burned like the fiery sky of a late summer sunset, or like the leaves on a cold autumn morning. Bright and passionate, strikingly colourful, but without warmth. Our colours changed, but never faded. Still, it got colder and colder each day.

I could feel the frost growing between us, as it always does when seasons change, for that is the will of the world. I could bear it, but I knew you couldn’t. Your petals wilted; you lost your breeze, your glimmer. We burned bright, and to anyone else it may have looked like the most beautiful thing in the world, but the last thing I wanted was to give you frostbite. I didn’t want you to lose your colours, so I turned away. I left you. I embraced the frosty air and the inevitable dullness of winter.

Where the road shall take me, I do not know. But I do not care, I have no regrets. You and I were glorious.

Like a sweet summer day magnificently fades to night, you and I came to a beautiful end.

But I didn’t tell them that.

It was for the better.