Horoscopes for November 12, 2007

The stars impart their weekly dose of wisdom for you lost souls.

	Aries March 21 – April 19 Before you do anything rash this week, the stars would like to remind you that those around you can’t help the fact that they’re idiots.
	Taurus April 20 - May 20 Police will finally catch you in the act this week, although the way you will be dressed will make them wish they hadn’t.
	Gemini May 21 - June 21 In a world of strife and oppression, you will stand alone this week, being the sole cause of said strife and oppression.
	Cancer June 22 - July 23 Your preference for cats over dogs will completely change this week after your cat gains the ability to speak.
	Leo July 24 - August 22 You will be wrongly convicted of several counts of manslaughter, which, to say the least, will totally blow a hole in your plans for the weekend.
	Virgo August 23 – September 22 This week will see you achieving your goals as friendly relations between Finland and Australia break down for good after your little stunt at the Aussie Bar.
	Libra September 23 – October 23 With winter quickly approaching, you will want to start wearing underwear.
	Scorpio October 24 – November 21 Road trips can be a perfect time for reflection, especially when you’re turning another year older. The stars advise you to hit the road soon before senility sets in.
	Sagittarius November 22 – December 21 The events of this week in one word: spicy.
	Capricorn December 22 – January 19 It will all come crashing down this week when your extreme stubbornness in following directions meets the maxim of the shampoo industry: lather, rinse, repeat.
	Aquarius January 20 – February 18 People have always liked to whisper the word megalomaniac in your presence, but after bumping your head this week your ego will no longer interpret it as a compliment.
	Pisces February 19 – March 20 There are entirely too many signs of the zodiac.