I believe I once promised you a list of all the things that sucked in Spain. Or at least the Top 50. I realize that listing the things that sucked might sound like complaining, but if you wanted only the good things, you could just as well ask a travel agency. Besides, as the hard-hitting journalist that I am, I feel compelled to tell my readers the truth, the whole truth and a little more than the truth, so help me Jeff, the god of biscuits. So here it is:
THINGS THAT SUCKED IN SPAIN (in random order)
1. The rain
2. Phones that never work
3. Fish, as a main course. Just a whole fish, nothing more. What the hell is that?
4. Gallego, the local language (what the hell happened to Spanish, I'm in Spain!)
5. The 35 min bus ride to the mountain campus in a jam-packed bus with no air
6. The dubbing
7. The local public transportation "system" (although, it's not really a system, per se)
8. The lack of parks, trees etc. in the city
9. The lack of basketball courts
10. The lack of skills of the local basketball players (there may be a connection..)
11. The infrastructure of the country
12. The hypocracy of some of the exchange student girls (different area code...)
13. Too many cars on the streets (by about 500 %)
14. "Put your hands up for Detroit" WAY too many times at clubs
15. The offensively tall transvestite who harassed me in front of Gazty
16. The motor of Citroen C3 in the mountains
17. The grenades that are classified as "fireworks" in Valencia and Sagunto
18. Sub-zero temperatures while in shorts (hung like a seahorse)
19. The constant drizzle that wouldn't quit...ever
20. The professional sports teams in Vigo
21. The Italian guy who kept hitting on anything that moved (I stood very still..)
22. My friend, Fab, who kept hitting on anything that moved
23. Me not being able to be hitting on anything that moved
24. Summer not showing up until I was just leaving
25. The water pressure (non-existent, obviously..)
26. Fat-Kat, who ate all the wires, earphones, chargers and kept hanging out in bags and literally chilling IN the fridge
27. The 4 simultaneous English accents of a teacher (it actually hurts)
28. Having to run to the bus stop EVERY morning due to lack of motivation
29. Having to run a half-marathon by accident
30. Having to run into the crazy girl who stalked me, repeatedly
31. The girl who thought and dressed as if she looked like Jessica Alba,
when she actually looked like Fat Bastard
31. Being called a "hairy fatto" by Nick
32. Actually looking like a hairy fatto in the photo below..
33. Losing my A-town cap in Madrid because of a cheese incident
34. The pouring monsoon-type of rain
35. Having to shave my beard (but HAHAA, I already have a new one!!)
36. The "food" at a "famous" restaurant in Segovia
37. The San Pepe festival that made Roskilde look like a tea party at the Hendersons'
38. The unattractive lesbian couple that got WAY too physical at the Brasilian club
39. The lack of attractive lesbian couples altogether
40. Having to lather Aloe Vera on Houdini's burnt hamstrings, 'cause he COULDN'T!
41. People who "commented" my blog, but never actually commented on anything..
42. Being the only guy in the class whose teacher is a raging feminist.. (got a 9,5)
43. Almost getting killed by an angry and jealous bouncer in Barcelona
44. Almost getting killed by a huge wave in Bayona
45. Almost getting killed when Kataya was behind the wheel in the mountains
46. The type of rain that goes into your nostrils
47. The men in tights at the gym
48. The people who just STOOD AROUND on the dance floor, smoking (It's Spain!!)
49. My lumpy hammock that the land-lady called a "bed"
50. Having to come back..
As you may guess from no. 50, these things, although sucky at the time, gave birth to the stories in this blog and created even more memories. I wouldn't trade my time in Vigo and elsewhere in Spain for (almost) anything and I urge all of you to use all the chances you get to hang out abroad at various locations, doing various things. It truly is "all that and a bag of potato chips".
So like Ben Stiller would say in Starsky & Hutch: "DO IT!"
Check in soon for the intro of the next trip [tags]vigo, j-man, top, 50, spain, suck[/tags]