Helsinki in Details - Part 2

It's time for the next installment of Helsinki in details which means it's also time for me to twist myself into a pretzel as I try to take photos of everything that might interest and amuse. In this piece I am covering the postal code 00120 so the stylish region of Punavuori.

Let's start off with these gargoyles on the wall of St. John’s Church. I read a news article a few years back that said they were in danger of crumbling and falling on top of passers-by. Can you imagine being taken out by one of these as if you were personally smited by some higher being? You would be the coolest person that ever lived (you still shouldn't loiter standing under these things, though).

Won't you just look at these poor atlases on Korkeavuorenkatu, struggling under the weight of their intolerable burden… Someone find their boss on LinkedIn and suggest they host a pizza party to boost team morale. #funboss #keephustling.

Close-up of a relief under the atlases. My presumption it is that it depicts a lion, but I have to wonder about the immense challenges a 19th century artist faces when tasked with carving an animal they have never seen before. Did they do research? Or did they only use their imagination as their aid in the noble pursuit of portraying the strangely beautiful (if only a hint disturbing) union between a donkey and a mischievous dog?

Either way, I commend the artistry.

Thank you random electric box on Korkeavuorenkatu! I will try my best to shine on!

Do you know the Leo DiCaprio movie Don’t look up? Now, I haven't actually seen it, but the name is brilliant because sometimes you definitely shouldn't look up, lest you spot a creepy carved face watching over you on Fredrikinkatu.

His gaze follows…

A much more pleasant sight on the opposite side of the street. This building always reminds me of those ice cream boxes with a mix of tree flavors – banana, strawberry and raspberry. Maybe I will reward myself with something like that after I am done with this article.

Remember those animal signs from the last installment? Well, they stretch over the area of Punavuori as well. This one in the corner of Fredrikinkatu and Iso Roobertinkatu is definitely one of them and not, as one might fear, an insult aimed at anyone who happens to look up at it. (For our international audience: this is funny in Finnish.)

This sculpture on Punavuorenkatu is called The Tree of Wisdom which is funny because it is clearly not a tree. I touched it, you know, to make sure. It doesn't really look like a sculpture either, just a big rock someone hauled there.

But I am mostly vexed by the name. Is it a metaphor for something? For our incessant pursuit for knowledge that often proves fruitless? How we crave deeper understanding, of not just the tiny speck of dust we live in, but of the vast universe surrounding it in the vain hope that it could somehow validate our meager existence?

But we can never attain it. All you get is a big dumb lump of rock, you big dumb lump of rock.

Right next to this rock is something that seems to fit the title much better…

Now here is a proper tree of wisdom. Just look at those magnificent old burls on the trunk. Hmmm. I feel smarter just looking at it.

This is the famous Sinebrychoff Tower in the Sinebrychoff Park where they used to lock up everyone who didn’t like Koff beer in the Victorian era. Don't look that up. Hey, I said don't look that up. Why would you even doubt me? I am a fine journalist with fine journalistic principles.

[translation: RESERVED FOR HORSE CARRIAGES]

Something worth memorizing in case they surprise you with this in your driver's exam

(Bulevardi, Sinebrychoff's old brewery).

Something about this doorway on Bulevardi makes me think I am going to be attacked by feral and furious peacocks as soon as I step a foot inside. Hard to pinpoint what it is exactly about it, though.

Now this is just… expectations for female bodies are really getting out of hand in the corner of Annankatu and Bulevardi.

At first glance, this doorway relief on Uudenmaankatu seems to depict two faun musicians having a very intense pipe-off.

But in reality, it is about having a nemesis that knows you better than you know yourself. When you look in the mirror, their reflection stares back. You are each other's worst nightmare, yet also each other's foil, and each other’s very life force. When that familiar, red-hot sensation of hatred rushes into your bloodstream, you know life actually has meaning because you will always have someone to challenge you…

…Anyway.

That's all for today, folks. I will let you get on with your lives since I am sure we all have a lot to address in therapy now.