Helsinki in Details - Part 3
In this installment of Helsinki in details, we will cover the postal code 00130, Kaartinkaupunki. At times I felt like I would be charged for every air particle I drew in my lungs in these parts, but I am happy to report that I was not dragged out from the scruff of my neck. The only pain inflicted on me was mental while conjecturing what the people around me paid for rent.
We start our tour at the Goodwin hippo, lounging leisurely on a bench in front of the Goodwin steak house (Eteläranta) which has the most pleasant view to the Helsinki archipelago. She seems like fun company, yet only tourists sit next to her and pose for photos.
I suppose it is true that Finnish people never share a park bench with strangers.
However bad of a day I am having, it cannot possibly be as bad as these two lions carved on the wall of Eteläranta are having. It as if every drop of the joy and will to live they once possessed has been squeezed out of them by the weight of the rings in their mouths, my god.
The reliefs on Eteläinen makasiinikatu prove quite the contrast.
They are grinning, almost mockingly so. One of them is even sticking their tongue out.
I feel a little victimized, staring up at them - and now I must wonder whether there is another explanation for the misery of the lions around the corner.
In the fountain at the side of Tähtitorninkatu stands a torso. Without a head. Or limbs.
The sign reveals to me that this is, indeed, a torso. I look up once more to confirm. Yes, a torso.
Dear reader, it made me think. How we are all just torsos. But with heads. And limbs.
I walk away, feeling slightly more enlightened about the world.
Hidden in a courtyard on Bernhardinkatu are two beautiful murals highlighting some Finnish maritime achievements.
I encourage everyone to come sneak a peek, but not to push their head too far between the bars of the gate - unless you want to make a closer acquaintance with the staff of the nearby fire station (also worth seeing!)
On Kasarmikatu there is a relief with the name of The Battling Capercaillies in reference to the famous painting by Ferninand von Wright. But with their backs turned on each other so, “coldly resentful capercaillies” seems like a more apt title.
It could have been anything; a bad investment tip, perceived slights during family get-togethers, their vastly different life choices creating a seemingly bottomless rift. Everyone just wants them to talk it out because all the oxygen gets sucked out of any room the two are in, but you cannot make two grown capercaillies to do anything they don't want to do even though grandma is dying and there's just no time to lose, goddamnit.
These three reliefs on the door of the former pharmacy in the corner of Korkeavuorenkatu and Pieni Roobertinkatu remind me of the three doctors treating me when I was acquitted to the hospital for paralyzing stomach pain.
The first, weighing my every word as if to catch me lying about such a unique symptom as acute stomach pain. The second, staring at me like a helpless baby at the face of such a unique symptom as acute stomach pain. The third, the one who finally rolled up his sleeves and got to work diagnosing me.
It was heartburn from too spicy food.
On Eteläinen makasiinikatu, there is a relief of a fish hiding in the seaweed, smirking devihilishly. As if mocking the viewer, taunting them.
I would like to title this art piece as "Inaccessibility of fresh fish on the average consumer's plate due to the inflated prices of the current economical crisis."
The fish theme continues on Korkeavuorenkatu. The inspirational slogan encourages us to go "against the flow". This is what the world needs to hear, I think smugly to myself, the edgy unicorn I am, and turn up the volume of the underground artist Taylor Swift in my earbuds.
Just a photo of the upper windows of Svenska Teatern in the junction of Mannerheimintie and Pohjoisesplanadi. I wanted to see if I would catch something in the camera... They say the theater haunted, but this far I have yet to uncover any evidence.
While reviewing this photo my phone started shaking and sending out strange sounds and vibrations. Huh. I really have to stop charging it with that frayed cord, it seems.
Mermaid baby and its mermaid mother, splashing around, enjoying the warm summer day in Esplanadi park. How lovely! How delightful! The most enchanting sight. Splish splash splashity splash.
I think I need to wrap this up soon. The heat is getting to me.Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.
Walking down the Esplanadi park, one's eye is often drawn to the magnificent statue of Havis Amanda on the horizon. But while she is under renovation, I would like to pull your attention to the unsung hero standing in the middle of the park, so oft unseen (probably because he is always obscured by bird feces).
The statue, not necessarily the man it depicts, represents steadfastness. No matter what life throws at us (bird feces), we should stand tall, our eyes fixed forward on the hopeful future (even with streams of bird feces trickling between them).
That's it folks. Go against the flow, stand proud, and do your best to dodge.
