Chief Editor’s Note: A Lesson We Could All Take from 3-Year-Olds

I recently started working at day care centres and there are a lot of valid reasons to envy small children. No bills, no homework, no responsibilities whatsoever. Instead, you get daily naps and plenty of time to play. What I found the most amazing in the life of a small child, however, was that if something bad happens, they simply start crying and bam there’s instantly someone to hold them and ask what’s wrong. The kid will cry for a bit, but soon enough everything is alright again. They run off and go about their day. What a concept.

If a grown-up wants to cry, we feel the need to hide it. We wait for the right moment with the right person and only then can we reach out and let someone know that we’re feeling bad. This might mean for example that we have to wait until we get home to our loved one or until our next therapy session or until the weekend when we see our friends. And should our words fail us or our listener be too preoccupied, we might not get the message across even after the waiting and will miss the chance to get the sympathy we were looking for. You see why I envy the children? But it’s not just envy I feel. I think there is something to learn here, as well.

I’m a big advocate for crying. Crying is good. Everyone should have a good cry every now and then. Research suggests that crying can have a calming effect on a person and help lower their stress levels. So when it all starts to feel like a bit too much, why not let it out? Now, I enjoy crying on my own, but absolutely hate doing it in front of other people and I’m sure I’m not the only one. A lot of people choose to suffer in silence instead and simply hope that their friends and family will magically figure out that something is wrong. Unfortunately, it does not work like that. Your friends or even your better half are not mind-readers. This is where we could take a lesson from the small children that run up to an adult after they’ve fallen on their faces.

We have to let other people know when we need help. If crying in front of your friends feels uncomfortable, you don’t have to go all 3-year-old-tears-mixing-with-snot-on-your-face on them. But you have to talk to them. Let them know what’s wrong. There is no fear or shame in showing your feelings. I recently held a crying friend between our karate practices and she’s still a total badass in my eyes. Maybe even more of a one. She’s a tough lady who doesn’t look any less tough for crying in front of me.

Emotional vulnerability is a beautiful thing, but it’s not easy. But it’s worth it. When you need support, let someone you trust know and I’m sure you won’t be disappointed. And if someone entrusts you with their problems, be there for them in return. I know I feel certain pride and happiness when I help comfort someone crying, be they a kid who got pushed by another one or be they an adult with something far more complex to unravel. Life is shitty for all of us. Let’s help one another make it more pleasant. One kind word or touch can do miracles.

The BTSB team is proud to present our first issue of the new decade! Meet SUB’s new president in our special interview and get to know the other members of the SUB board through their “friend book” introductions. Meanwhile Annika discusses asexuality and why profanity seems to be such a big issue in media. Leo compares his experiences living in a third world country and a first world country. You will also find new poetry and a short story by Anthony and Jenni. And lastly, Vesper earns her status as an official BTSB editor with her new article on food and its meaning to us.

Until next time!