It’s okay not to be okay, even on Valentine’s day

Yes, you read that correctly. And before you scoff and roll your eyes, thinking that I’m just stating the obvious and being ridiculous, allow me to elaborate.

It’s just one of those days again. Nothing feels right and everyone sucks. Even the best show on Netflix or HBO Max can’t seem to cheer you up, so you pick up your phone and start scrolling away on social media. But alas, it’s Valentine’s day. Your feed is overflowing with the flowers, thoughtful gifts and fancy dinners your friends are receiving from the people they love. This only works as a reminder of how happy everyone else is and how utterly miserable you feel, and you genuinely feel like you’re about to throw your phone out of the window. Maybe a bit of a break might do you good?

Social media can be a pain on any given day, but the overall media rhetoric around Valentine’s day is that of love. Everyone’s going on and on about love, be it towards their significant other, friends, family, or perhaps they’re focusing on self-love. It can get very repetitive and frankly, exhausting. As you may very well have noticed while reading the other articles in this issue of BTSB, many of them follow along with this theme. I, however, decided not to. I am by no means here to criticise that choice or the importance of love and kindness, but I know it can be overwhelming if you’re even a little under the weather.

I for one have never been in a romantic relationship, and even though we call the 14th of February “Friend’s day” in Finland, sometimes I just haven’t felt the need to remember that my friends exist on that specific day. It’s one day out of the 365 we get every year, we have plenty of time to be thoughtful and doting to our loved ones. I can name more than one Valentine’s day that I’ve spent all alone at my apartment, hating the world around me. And as sad as that sounds, it’s okay. It’s not like we all absolutely must be all lovey-dovey and warm on a specific day in February. As I write this, I have no clue as to what my mood may be on that day, but if I’d rather spend Valentine’s day all by myself, muttering curses under my breath, who’s to tell me that I can’t? We all feel like absolute garbage every now and then, don’t we?

So, here’s a reminder: you’re allowed to feel your feelings. You’re allowed to cry, seethe with anger and scream at the top of your lungs. Even if it’s the day of celebrating love, friendship and overall kindness, you’re allowed to be cynical and selfish. If you feel bitter and sad, so be it. Some days we just cannot deal with other human beings or their happiness, and we don’t have to force ourselves to do so. It’s okay not to be okay, even if everyone else is celebrating love.

That is all. May the rest of your day be as miserable as you wish.